Cuckold
The dictionary defines a cuckold as "a man with an unfaithful wife."A cuckold is a married man whose wife openly has sex with other men. In current usage it sometimes refers to non-married couples in committed relationships as well, although the traditional meaning is a man whose wife is adulterous. However, very often the cuckold is both aware and encourages his wife's "infidelity" and is sexually excited by it.
In plain English, a cuckold is a man who stands by and accepts his wife's infidelity, being sexually excited by her actions. He may have normal sexual relations with his wife part of the time, or he may accept that his wife has chosen another man to replace him completely in her sexual bed. As a consequence, many cuckolds end up raising children that aren't their own.
History of the term
"Cuckold" is derived from the Old French for the Cuckoo bird, "Cocu" with the pejorative suffix -ald. The earliest written use of the Middle English derivation, “cokewold” occurs in 1250. The females of certain varieties of Cuckoo lay their eggs in other bird’s nests, freeing themselves from the need to nurture the eggs to hatching. In medieval
A nuance of the word often overlooked in contemporary usage is that it refers to a man who, like the bird warming the cuckoo’s eggs, is unaware of his victimization. A man who knows and acquiesced, in his wife’s taking of another lover was called a “wittol,” itself a derivation from the Middle English for “willing (as in knowing) cuckold.”
A currently popular slang extension of the definition of cuckold expands it from married men to any male in domestic relationship with a woman in which he remains exclusive and she does not. This new usage may also reflect the paucity of established words that describe the variety of alternative sexual and romantic arrangements that have proliferated in recent years.
Cuckolds have sometimes been written as "wearing the horns of a cuckold" or just "wearing the horns". This refers to a tradition claiming that in villages of unknown European location, the community would gather to collectively humiliate a man whose wife gives birth to a child recognizably not his own. According to this legend, a parade was held in which the hapless husband is forced to wear antlers on his head as a symbol of his wife’s infidelity. Whether this did actually happen or not is irrelevant to the phrase, which survived.
Cuckolds are also sometimes portrayed as having horns (which look like devil horns), but this is actually a crescent moon set behind the head. Since the moon waxes and wanes, it was held as a symbol of the changeability of love, and especially the fickleness of women, so a cuckold had the moon hanging over his head.
Cultural usage
In Poland, Russia, Greece, Italy, Germany, Portugal, Mexico, Brazil, Spain and Arabic-speaking countries, "horns" are a metaphor for suffering the infidelity of a partner, not limited to husbands in modern usage. However, the use of the term dates from the In Portuguese the terms corno ("horn"), cornudo or chifrudo ("horned") are used to spite or mock the cheated male partner. The expression corno manso ("tame horned") is used to indicate those men who, although cheated by their partners, do not comboy up and take manly attitudes like killing or maiming their partners and their lovers, and even come to accept it as a fact of their lives.
The Chinese term for "cuckold" is literally translated to "wearing a green hat". It is because of this that it is extremely rare to see any Chinese men wearing a green hat.
In Trinidad & Tobago the term "horn" is used in conjunction with cuckolds, or anyone of either sex who has a cheating spouse. Other uses include "to horn" (to sleep with someone else's spouse), "horning" (the act of cheating on your spouse), "horner-man" (a man who is sleeping with someone else's spouse) and "horner-woman" (a woman who is sleeping with someone else's spouse), "to get horn", "to take (a) horn". It is usually used in a pejorative sense. Numerous calypsoes have been written about the topic; the most famous being "Horn Me Sandra" by the calypsonian known as Lord Kitchener.
In animal behavior
"Cuckoldry" is also a term used in the study of animal behavior to denote brood parasites, laying their eggs in the nests of other birds. The best-known example is the European Common Cuckoo from which the term derives. The cuckoo egg hatches earlier than the host's, and the cuckoo chick grows faster; in most cases the chick evicts the eggs or young of the host species. The chick has no time to learn this behavior, so it must be an instinct passed on genetically. The mother still feeds the cuckoo chick as if it were her own, the chick's open mouth serving as a sign stimulus for the host to feed it. a b Biology (4th edition) N.A.Campbell, p.1179 'Fixed Action Patterns' (Benjamin Cummings NY, 1996) ISBN 0-8053-1957-3Cuckoldry as a fetish
The term has acquired additional meanings within certain sub-cultures, referring to couples wherein the female is dominant and she takes on additional partners, while the male takes on a submissive role where he is monogamous to her, or only becoming involved sexually when it is felt to be emotionally supportive of her and her lover, or remaining altogether chaste. A man who fetishizes this situation is often referred to in the sub-culture as a "cuck".Cuckoldry as a fetish has been around since at least the time of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (the writer after whom the term "masochism" is coined). Sacher-Masoch's wife, Aurora Rümelin, recounts in her memoirs multiple instances of Sacher-Masoch asking, begging and even threatening her to make her cuckold him so he could experience the pain and humiliation of the act. To that end, Sacher-Masoch created multiple opportunities for the adulterous act to occur, none of which were successful. While Rümelin indulged her husband in many of his masochistic requests, due in large part because to her dependence on him to financially support her and her children, she steadfastly refused to cuckold him. Rümelin's refusal to succumb to Sacher-Masoch's cuckholding fantasies was one of the causes of their separation and her subsequent descent into poverty.[citation needed]
The wife who enjoys cuckoldry is sometimes referred to as a hotwife. In a broader context, the contrast between a cuckold and the additional male participant (sometimes called a "stud" or "bull") is sometimes used to summarize an individual's personality or behaviour and the variability commonly seen in male libidos; the cuckold or beta male suggesting a lack of virility, perhaps sometimes having a small penis, impotence, infertility, vulnerability, weakness, or even anxiety and the stud or alpha male representing virility, potency, a larger phallus, fertility, dynamism, masculinity, strength and a sense of confidence in the ease with which he may sexually possess another man's wife. There are some who consider the use of the term "bull" to be offensive, and this term is also not used commonly in the BDSM community.
Cuckolding among female-dominant couples differs from the original definition of cuckolding in that many of these men are voluntarily cuckolded by their wives, sometimes as part of the husband's sexual fantasy and sometimes because they gain genuine sexual arousal through being humiliated by his wife being better sexually fulfilled with a potentially superior male. In some cases the husband may instigate and nurture his wife's sexual infidelity, raising the question of who is truly the dominant partner. This is a common theme in letters to erotica magazines and online sites which focus on cuckoldry.
In most modern cases of fantasy cuckolding, the husband usually finds pleasure through that of his wife and they (the wife and extra-marital participant) may both enjoy attempting to actively include him in the act of cuckolding as much as possible through serving her. Some common themes include praising her appearance, attempting to stimulate her sexually at the same time as the additional participant, and generally being engrossed in her enjoyment, usually while masturbating or involving himself in some sexual act with his wife during their activity.
Some less-common themes might include grooming his wife for her "date", homemaking, or oral sex following the conclusion of sex with the other man. When this oral sex follows ejaculation, it is termed a creampie or cleaning up. This involves the husband eating or licking the semen of another man from inside his unfaithful wife.
Cuckolding and homosexuality
In some cases, cuckolding is a means for the husband to express same-sex desires through his wife and/or directly with the additional participant.In various alternative-lifestyle support groups and online forums, homosexuality is often a primary concern for both couples thinking about participating in cuckolding, with the heterosexual husband being cautious about the possibility of a homosexual encounter.
Popularity of cuckolding
When cuckolding is a humiliation fantasy, it works best when the individual with the fantasy believes cuckolding is hopelessly the only choice for their relationship. This may be one of the reasons cuckold fantasy stories sometimes contain the theme that females are genetically predisposed to desire the "alpha-male", prefer men with larger genitalia or that their wives are driven with wild lust.Cuckolding as a dominant voyeuristic act
While word origin and most historic accounts define the cuckold husband as being submissive, powerless and/or in need of humiliation to receive stimulation, contemporary practice suggests the possibility of something altogether different. Rather than passively acceeding to the infidelity and desires of an errant wife, this cuckold is more in keeping with the male partners defined in polyamorous, open, or swinging relationships.In this manifestation, the cuckold is a consummate voyeur... who derives great pleasure from seeing his "hot wife" or partner being pleasured and serviced by another male (or males...or a female). Although he assumes a submissive role and will often assist during the course of the sex act, the "cuckhold husband" may actually be the controlling, dominant party in the relationship. He may invite, encourage, and initiate consideration of the practice with his partner, and may be the one to make arrangements and approve how, when and with whom his wife may have the intended encounter. In street parlance, he may "pimp" his wife for the encounters he wishes.
Often, the excitement of the encounter with third parties is followed by more sex play between the relationship partners. The encounter becomes an aphrodisiac, helping to initiate and enhance further sex play between them, as visions of the encounter are revisited and replayed during subsequent love making sessions.
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